Dealing With Stress And Anger

Effective Ways to Deal with Stress and Anger

Anger always follows a stressful situation. Have you ever experienced real anger? Here are a few things that make people mad: the car refuses to start, you get assigned another unexpected project, your spouse has been asked to work on Saturday and spoils the beach party you had planned, and so on and so forth.

Needless to say, there are plenty of people, situations, and things that make people mad. Having an intense spurt of anger is an indication that you are face to face with some stressful life situation right now.

Intense emotions thrive in the presence of each another. When you think about how mad you are, you get angrier. This emotion has several physical signs, and the feelings that accompany anger are usually distorted. Once you become aware of this fact, you'll find it easier to cope with the situation and regain power over your thoughts and emotions.

Have you ever observed what happens in your body when you lose your temper? If you take the time to do so the next time you get angry, you might notice the following:

• Knotted stomach
• Racing heart
• Shallow breathing
• Tightening of the jaw
• Diarrhea
• Heartburn

The minute you get angry, your thoughts and emotions get distorted. Have you ever felt or thought the following way when you were angry?

• You feel that others are responsible for the situation that made you angry.
• You generalize the situation. Just because the spouse had to go for work one Saturday, you feel and think that this "always" happens.
• You magnify the situation. The person who annoyed you is the worst person in the world. The situation was intolerable. The more you magnify, the worse you feel.
• You label people, things, and situation. For example, the boss is a "jerk." Someone else is a "loser" or a "selfish pig."

The only way to deal with anger is to become aware of what you are feeling and thinking. Analyze the situation better. Find out exactly what triggers such a response from you. Once you do so, you can figure out some sensible ways of dealing with conditions that trigger anger and cause distortions in thoughts and emotions. Here is a way you can transform the way your think and feel when you lose your temper due to a stressful situation.

• The person you are blaming might be doing what he/she feels is the best. You are only making yourself powerless by blaming others.
• Instead of using general terms such as "all", "always", "every," and so on, use accurate and specific terms.
• Whenever you catch yourself magnifying situations, ask yourself if it is really true. Be accurate when you describe people and situations.
• Don't use stereotyping. Simply describe the person, thing, or situation as he/she/it is.

The best way to manage stress and anger is to learn to cope with the situation. How you choose to behave about a particular person, thing, or situation will determine whether the stressful condition gets resolved or blows up in your face. Learn to choose your reactions to stressful conditions wisely. This way, you'll restore your lost power and avoid saying words that can't be taken back.